How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize