he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
