sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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