Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
