What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
