His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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