My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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