I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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