My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize