I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
