it hurts more in the daytime
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
