my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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