so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
