That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
