i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
