And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
