Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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