operation have a gay friend backfired
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
