Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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