we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
