can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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