She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
