we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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