so explain again why im purple
no
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
