Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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