He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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