You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
