now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
