i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Boobs speak an international language.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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