he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
