you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize