I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
