Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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