We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
