i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
