My brain says no but my pants say off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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