Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
