I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
