so explain again why im purple
no
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
