Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he wants to bone in the snuggie
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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