u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
