I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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