Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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