It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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