Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
