How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
