drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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