Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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