Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
