He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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