Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
