I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
