i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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