I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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