rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
