she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
