I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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