in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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