Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
