if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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