I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
